274 Important Lessons I Learned While Working With Tony Robbins

This article will help you better understand the perspectives and ideologies I learned while working alongside Tony Robbins.  I had the pleasure of working as a national speaker and corporate trainer for Tony during 2015 and 2016. As I traveled the country delivering peak performance workshops, I found a lot (but not all) of his teachings to be helpful in my self-development journey.

Over the years, I revisit these notes to re-ground myself in the ideology that I taught to others. 

These teachings have become a core component of the toolbelt I use on a day-to-day basis. 

Below you will find 274 takeaways and distinctions from my time working with Tony. 

There are lots of ideas to chew on here. I hope you enjoy!

1. Emotions are just patterns.

2. There are 80 muscles in your face – most of them are unemployed.

3. Your blueprint became what has been told to you – make the choice to change your blueprint.

4. Life is too short to suffer.

5. There are two types of states – beautiful states and suffering states.

6. All you are after is a feeling / emotion.

7. Energy is not about chronology – it’s about psychology and physiology.

8. To influence people you need to know what already influences them.

9. Life is not about me it’s about we.

10.  You can change what triggers you (neuro associations).

11.  If you can feel bad for no reason – you can feel good for no reason!

12.  Playing small never did anything for anyone.

13.  Celebrate for no good reason.

14.  As humans, our competitive advantage is love.

15.  It is not about the goal – it is about who you have to become to achieve the goal.

16.  People that are truly successful feel fulfilled.

17.  We either use fear, or fear uses us.

18.  Don’t achieve to be happy – happily achieve.

19.  Change is never a matter of ability – it’s always a matter of motivation. Daniel Pink’s TED Talk – The Puzzle of Motivation (Autonomy, Mastery, and Purpose).

20.  When there is no vision – people perish.

21.  Don’t wait for someone to give you the answers – take it.

22.  Don’t ask for permission, ask for forgiveness.

23.  It’s not about fixing anything – it’s about going on a journey.

24.  You must condition your mind and body by engaging your physiology – create positive triggers – *make your move*.

25.  If you cut out all pain – you’ll lose motivation.  Pain is a necessary part of life.  Without pain, there is no growth (mentally, physically, and emotionally).

26.  Life is not happening to you it’s happening for you.

27.  Your life is controlled by – your state of being and your blueprint.

28.  Biography is not destiny.

29.  Letting the external world dictate your internal world will have a negative impact on your state.

30.  New choices = new life.

31.  You are not broken – you just need to let someone else be in charge (the best version of yourself).

32.  Love is the oxygen of life.

33.  You are more than anything that’s happened to you.

34.  Fear = false expectations appearing real – or – f@$# everything and run!

35.  Your brain was not built to make you happy – it was built to make you survive.

36.  Divorce the story [you keep telling yourself] and marry the truth – the story is the BS you keep telling yourself on why you’re not creating the results you really want – the truth is you’re better than that BS story!

37.  You only suffer when you obsess about yourself.

38.  Success = good decisions = experience = bad decisions

39.  If we cannot fail – we cannot learn.

40.  Progress = happiness

41.  Use your mind – do not let your mind use you.

42.  The truth will set you free!!!

43.  Your emotional home is your homeostasis.

44.  Everyone has multiple versions of themselves (Create a persona [version of you] that is capable of fulfilling your wildest dreams).

45.  Emotions and feelings are controlled by the meaning you give things (Tony calls this the triad, and it is controlled by 3 things)

• Physiology: how we use our physical body.
• Language: how we talk to ourselves and the language we use.
• Focus / Belief: what we focus on and what we believe about it.

46.  Your brain is the most powerful computer in the world – every once in a while, it needs a software update. What does your v2.0 look like?

47.  There are 6 Human Needs. If an activity satisfies 3 of the 6 human needs – it will create a habit!  Tony Robbins TED Talk (explaining the 6 human needs).

48.  Instead of fighting the fear – align with the fear. Dance with it.

49.  All I need is within me now!

50.  Find the strongest part of yourself and put it in charge.

51.  Enter the elevator – “I’m sure you’re wondering why I gathered you here today.” LOL

52.  Your questions will change the quality of your life.

53.  New cool word – “unf@$#withable.”

54.  Change your language – change your life.

55.  The rich get richer, the poor get poorer, and the depressed get more depressed – that is momentum.  It’s one of Newton’s laws of physics.

56.  You can’t find what you’re not looking for. (The example from the Tony Robbins conference: Your mind didn’t allow you to see the damn salt shaker!!!)

57.  Don’t smile – it’ll f@$# up your depression!

58.  Dance with the fear of life.

59.  The strongest force in the human personality is the need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves.

60.  Suffering is a choice.

61.  Being uncomfortable = Growth = Progress = Happiness = Success = Fulfillment

62.  All of your problems are relative, if you put your problems in a pile with everyone else’s – you would probably take yours back.

63.  Choose to live life in a beautiful state.

64.  People will not do the right things – they will fuck up, don’t let your happiness hinge on others’ actions.

65.  You can experience pain without suffering.

66.  The 3 Roads to Suffering:

1. I’ll lose something.

2. I’ll have less of something.

3. I’ll never get something.

67.  Have an attitude of gratitude.

68.  End the suffering by deciding you are in control.

69.  To commit is to make a decision – to cut off from all other choices —- take over the island, burn the ships, and never look back!!!

70.  We only get what we tolerate.

71.  The secret to living is giving.

72.  The science of achievement vs the art of fulfillment.

73.  3 things that end suffering

1. Appreciate and enjoy.

2. Learn and grow.

3. Love, give, and be grateful.

74.  Trade your expectations for appreciation.

75.  Knowledge is potential power – execution is real power. The 48 Laws of Power Audiobook FREE (YouTube).

• Potential Energy = Knowledge
• Kinetic Energy = Execution

76.  One of the most important choices you will ever make is the decision to end suffering.

77.  You may have given them everything they wanted, but did you give them what they needed?

78.  How we define our beliefs, and values are what separates people.

79.  You have to meet someone’s needs based on their blueprint.

80.  Lack of growth = emotional death. Everyone knows someone who has been emotionally dead for 15 (or 50) years.

81.  You can influence people – but you can’t control them.

82.  We live in a significance culture. (Instagram, etc.)

83.  Successful people are driven by high standards. Michael Jordan didn’t make his high school basketball team because he had low standards!

84.  Too much certainty = lack of growth.  We need uncertainty. This is a balance.

85.  Either you fit in or you stand out – the more you stand out, the bigger the target on your back.

86.  People will give up what they value most to hit their needs.

87.  If I can’t – then I must! (I, admittedly, have had to dial this belief back. Taken out of context, this belief could send someone over their limit).

88.  You feel like 1 million bucks when you’re being yourself.

89.  A coward dies 1000 times – the courageous man only once.

90.  The only thing keeping you from what you want is the STORY (about why you can’t have it).

91.  You are fulfilled when you end suffering.

92.  Complexity is the enemy of execution.

93.  3 Levels of Mastery:

1. Cognitive (I understand it)

2. Emotional (I feel it)

3. Physical (I do it consistently)

94.  Simon says – stop complaining and put your big girl/boy panties on.  JUST DO IT!

95.  Your problems will either help you grow – or help you die.

96.  It’s only failure if you give up.

97.  Knowing and understanding information is completely different from using and applying it.

98.  Repetition is the mother of skill.

99.  We are defined by how we associate pain and pleasure. This is what neuro-linguistic programming is all about.

100.    Condition your mind like you condition your body.

101.    John Grinder and Richard Bandler – the co-creators of NLP.

102.    Give a man a fish he eats for a day – teach a man to fish he eats for a lifetime.

103.    If you’re driving and looking in the rearview mirror you will never get what you want out of life.

104.    Walt Disney went to over 300 banks to get his first loan!

105.    Change doesn’t happen unless you know exactly what you want and WHY you want it. Simon Sinek TED Talk – Start With Why (one of the top 5 all-time).

106.    Progress comes from breaking patterns – patterns change in a moment.

107.    We all have free choice.

108.    What is a goal, dream, or desire that you have given up on? Why?

109.    Get the person to believe that changing now equals massive and immediate pleasure.

110.    Get the person to believe that not changing now will cause unbearable levels of pain.

111.    Lasting change is based on momentum.  You must get leverage and interrupt the pattern before creating a new empowering pattern.

112.    SWISH Patterns (making the bad image smaller and the good image bigger) this is how Tony creates neuro associations that empower. Check the link on #99.

113.    Celebrate the fact that you tried – who cares if you failed?

114.    As we move our bodies – so our lives go.

115.    Don’t welcome people back – welcome people forward!

116.    If you don’t turn on your phone it won’t work – the same goes for your body.

117.    Expectations set outcomes.

118.    Hi-5 yourself and jump. It feels great.

119.    New habit – hug yourself for 2 minutes every morning.  It feels great!

120.    Momentum is forward motion with energy.

121.    Human momentum is forward motion with emotion. Emotion = state.

122.    Success leads to more success – momentum.

123.    Success leaves clues.

124.    It’s never too late to have a happy childhood – change the meaning.

125.    Decide – “Yes, I’m going to do it.”

126.    Commit – “It will happen no matter what.”

127.    Resolve – “It’s already happened.”

128.    99% of the world would die to live the life that you live.

129.    The most important decision is who you decide to spend time with.

130.    To decide is to do something – to be something – to create something – to love someone – to quit something – just make a decision!!!

131.    It’s in our moments of decision that our destiny is shaped.

132.    Skills are pathways of nerves – Myelin sheath.

133.    Life will pay whatever price you ask for it.

134.    Reticular activation system – like a filter between your conscious mind and your subconscious mind. It takes instructions from your conscious mind and passes them on to your subconscious. you can deliberately program the reticular activating system by choosing the exact messages you send from your conscious mind. For example, you can set goals, say incantations, or visualize your goals. (Priming works great!) Again, check the link on #99.

135.    We don’t get what we want – we get what we are committed to AND we get who we believe we are.

136.    There has never been a time when you were about to take a breath when it wasn’t there – that is abundance – it will be there when you want it.

137.    Be the person today that you want to be in 10 years – the person you have to become to achieve the results.

138.    Push motivation vs pull motivation.

139.    You can live a normal life – or you can create a magical moment

140.    Good timber does not grow with ease – the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees.

141.    Find a team that will challenge you – not support you.

142.    Wealth takes caring and creativity.

143.    Give yourself a gift (experience).

144.    What is one of the most beautiful moments of your life? Something that you never want to forget? What makes you feel alive?

145.    Power moves to those who are completely committed to serving.

146.    Serving people is about finding the gap from where they are to where they want to go – fill the gap!

147.    There is no joy or peace without forgiveness – forgiveness ends suffering.

148.    Stop focusing on yourself.

149.    75 years of Harvard research shows that quality relationships are the key to happiness. Here is the epic TED Talk to prove it!

150.    When you serve without expectation – anything can happen.

151.    Money magnifies who you are.

152.    Loving is not about trading – it’s about giving.

153.    You can only meet basic needs by only serving yourself.

154.    When you become comfortable you become complacent – it stops people from wanting to grow.

155.    Who is on your team?

156.    What you put out comes back tenfold.

157.    Love your family – choose your peers.

158.    Take the time to think about your personal values.

159.    You know you are successful when the worst day of your life becomes the best day of your life.

160.    Who you spend time with is who you become.

161.    You make three decisions at any point in time. Again, this is what Tony calls the triad.

162.    People’s lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group.

163.    Four levels of love

• First Level – You demand love.
• Second Level – You give love to get some back.
• Third Level – You love because that’s who you are.
• Fourth Level – You love everyone (even those who try to hurt you).

164.    Proximity is power.

165.    Your relationship with yourself is the most important one.

166.    You have more conversations with yourself than anyone on the planet.

167.    The secret to living is giving.

168.    The 50-foot rule – smile at anyone within 50 feet of you.

169.    Do as they do – you’ll feel as they feel – that is matching and mirroring.

170.    Rapport is power – it creates a feeling of commonality.

171.    Questions are tools. The better the questions, the better the answers. Get creative! Here are 30 questions to ask yourself (to get the ball rolling).

172.    When you put intention and attention on others – energy moves and a connection is made.

173.    The 2-mm rule – move that chest (up and out) just a little bit. You will feel the difference in your posture, breath, emotions, and state of being).

174.    Life is much simpler than we are led to believe.

175.    The 2 Decisions We Have The Opportunity To Make At Every Moment Of Life

1. Live in a beautiful state.

2. Take 100% responsibility for your life.

176.    Priming – The psychology is “I don’t hope I feel good – I make myself feel good!” Here is a link to Tony’s guided priming exercise.

177.    Transformation happens in an altered state.

178.    Our environment becomes the source of priming – create your environment.

179.    Deep practice – pushing yourself beyond the edge.

180.    Become a professional – create a regimen / system / habit / pattern. Here is a Tony article on creating patterns that last.

181.    Find your flow state. Define it with as much texture as possible.

182.    When learning – aim to compress decades into days (immersion coaching).

183.    Be happy for no good reason. (Because if you can feel sad for no reason, you can feel happy for no reason too)!

184.    The training effect – training never stops!

185.    Understand your towards values vs your away values.

186.    Most people have a highway to pissed off and a dirt road to happy – change it!

187.    Everything you want (and need) comes from within your nervous system.

188.    Decisions are not made consciously – they are made subconsciously (how you are primed). 4-minute video on conscious vs subconscious (by the late, great Bob Proctor).

189.    Get a coach – daily reinforcement – prime daily!!! Have someone or something hold you accountable.

190.    Know the buttons in your brain. Both the good and the bad.

191.    Success is about more than beliefs and patterns – it’s about standards.

192.    You can’t change something you can’t measure.

193.    When shit hits the fan – victory is near!

194.    Ignorance is not bliss – it’s pain.

195.    Be one of the few who do versus the many who talk.

196.    Good is the enemy of great. 4 Minute summary of the book Good to Great (a MUST for any business owner).

197.    Lead with your chest like something is lifting you up.

198.    Create a feeling of certainty vs a feeling of hope.

199.    Nothing is impossible if you want it bad enough.

200.    Change is a moment in time.

201.    Sometimes you do something for one reason then realize you’re doing it for another.

202.    What has to happen in order to feel successful?

203.    Model someone outstanding!

204.    When your team encounters a problem say – “MOVE – I’ll f@#$ing handle it.”

205.    A man with one watch knows the time – a man with two watches is never sure.

206.    Rewire the triggers using neuro-associative conditioning and SWISH patterns. Again, check the link on #99.

207.    Most people tolerate their lives – you only get what you tolerate.

208.    Raise the roof of your standards.

209.    The 4 Standards People Hold:

• Poor
• Good
• Excellent
• OUTSTANDING!

210.    Outstanding is not a skill – it’s a standard.

211.    Perfection is the lowest standard.

212.    You f@$%ed up vs I will f@$& you up – completely different meanings.

213.    The path of least resistance will never make you proud.

214.    You will only find your purpose when you’re in a beautiful state.

215.    Values, beliefs, and patterns – always remember – different strokes for different folks.

216.    There are should items and must items.  DO THE MUST ITEMS! 4 Hour Work Week Audiobook Free (YouTube).

217.    To change your life – change your associations (pain and pleasure). Research more neuro-linguistic programming if you want to dive deeper).

218.    People will do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure.

219.    There are no victims – only volunteers. (I have a hard time with this one when it comes to certain circumstances).

220.    Direction determines destination.

221.    My [Tony’s] belief – life is an opportunity and a blessing.

222.    No one can injure you – only a limiting belief can.

223.    How you value things determines your beliefs.

224.    Limiting beliefs allow us to dish accountability – it puts life out of our control.

225.    When shit hits the fan – look in the mirror and take accountability.  When you win – look out the window and be appreciative of all those that helped you.

226.    All beliefs carry with them consequences.

227.    Your brain was hijacked as a child – most of your beliefs were imposed on you.  You had no choice! It can be difficult to remove beliefs you did not choose!

228.    The wall that protects you also imprisons you.

229.    You are not arguing with someone – you are arguing with their rules.

230.    Seek and you shall find. (Or, as the kids say, FAFO).

231.    Anticipation is the ultimate power.

232.    Leaders anticipate – losers react.

233.    Hunt for humans that are outstanding.

234.    Find ways to get more energy.

235.    Figure out how to make more money when you sleep than when you are awake.

236.    A relationship without intimacy is a friendship.

237.    You must own your identity – name it – and train it to come when you call it.

238.    Capability is defined by identity.

239.    Your life is a direct reflection of the expectations of your peer group. If your peer group doesn’t expect much – it’s only a matter of time before you’ll be not expecting much from yourself. (If you hang around 5 XYZ, you will be the 6th).

240.    What if problems were always gifts… what if every problem you ever had was life was happening for you not to you… what if everything in our lives is guided?

241.    If you want to master something – you need to immerse yourself in it.

242.    Anything you have to change requires a higher level of energy —- If you have low energy, you’ll know what to do and you won’t do it!

243.    You can’t be grateful and fearful at the same time, so focus on gratitude.

244.    Change your expectations for appreciation and your life will change forever.

245.    Leadership is about creating certainty for others – and that certainty has to come from within you.

246.    Change is really about changing what we associate with things. Change it deep in your nervous system.

247.    Put your goals 10X higher than you think you should.  Standards define you. Here is the 10X Audiobook by Grant Cardone (YouTube).

248.    Your values are your targets – what you either move towards or away from.

249.    The challenge is that we often have contrary values which create inner conflict.

250.    If love is one of your ‘towards’ values, but rejection is one of our ‘away’ values, well, it’s not possible to go towards love without the possibility of rejection. That’s going to cause some major inner conflict which will express in all kinds of behaviors. (this goes for any category in life).

251.    What are the conflicting beliefs you have? No strategy in the world will work unless we resolve our inner conflicts.

252.    We all have global beliefs (I am, the world is, etc). and if/then rules (if this happens, then this happens).

253.    We go in and out of emotion all day long. We can focus on which emotions we want to stay in and harness them to create momentum.

254.    Closing the gap from where you are to where you want to be is 20% technique and 80% psychology.

255.    In other words, the ‘how’ to do it will only get you so far. Figure out ‘why’ you do it (or don’t do it) if you want results.

256.    And, when you want to take the island, you’ve got to burn your boats! (Again – this analogy describes the level of commitment necessary to create a change).

257.    Stress is just the overachiever’s code word for FEAR.

258.    Our 2 major fears – we’re not ‘enough’ in some way – or – that we won’t be loved.

259.    Change your physiology, change your state.

260.    We are made to love others.

261.    The more you care, the more you grow.

262.    The basis of your relationship with a person may have nothing to do with the person.

263.    People like people who are like them – or who they want to be like.

264.    Fear and anger cannot coexist with gratitude. Practice an attitude of gratitude. Always.

265.    The path of least resistance will never make you proud.

266.    The rewards you get in public are from things you practice in private.

267.    If we don’t grow, we die.

268.    Sales is a transfer of emotion. Life is a transfer of emotion. Moving a customer from the state they are currently in – to the state they need to be in to buy. The same goes for any relationship. Human existence is about emotion and energy transfer.

269.    My past does not have to equal my future unless I live there.

270.    All of our beliefs either empower us or limit us.

271.    Your beliefs are the ceiling of your life.

272.    Resources are not the problem, it is a lack of resourcefulness.

273.    Recommended book – Think and Grow Rich Audiobook (YouTube).

274.    Assassinate your limiting beliefs by first getting LEVERAGE.

One of his final teachings that I find particularly beneficial is his concept of the triad.

The emotional triad is based on 3 questions.

1. What will I focus on?

2. What does this mean?

3. What am I going to do?

These questions can drive you into action, immediately.

If there is at least 1 golden nugget in here that could help you become a better version of yourself, then it was worth reading. Tony has a lot of great ideologies that are grounded in practical psychology and ancient philosophy. I encourage you to go on Youtube or Instagram to find other leaders like Tony who are equipped to support you on your current journey.

This could allow you to create a virtual ‘board of advisors.’ The ideologies of the advisors you put on your imaginary board can help you make better decisions in your day-to-day life.

Please reach out if there is something specific in here that resonates with you.

With Love,

-Jesse